The Big Bad Black Man's Celebrity Beefs Vol 2: Neeyo

Sup folks! Its ya man, The Big Bad Black Man aka Chuck Claps Jr aka No Bitch I Aint Paying For That Are You Out Ya Damn Mind Do You Think Im Charity Bitch This Aint Unicef. Im back with another of my celebrity beef, this time with this super dome ass nigga Neeyo. This nigga. I don't like this chump. As a person, organization or a crew. His songs are wack, no one wants to see some bobble headed nigga prancing and dancing.

Anyways, Im chilling on the lanes with my dude, Jesse aka the Fist Of God when this lame comes through.  Now me, Im a bold mothafucka at times. I like to call people out on their bullshit. Now this was around the time Young Berg was catching Ls like they were going out of style. Mr Neeyo over here said he would 3 finger slap Mr Berg. So I asked him on it. He gonna act like he don't understand english all of sudden. Then he cops a attitude. So my man, The Fist Of God comes over and was like is there a problem. See this is where I save Neeyo's life cuz when my dude Fist Of God thinks its a problem, it gets solved. With his fist. Cuz you know, they take lives. I think he told me one time, he was bored, he punched a hole into time itself because it was looking at him wrong. Or he could be just crazy. Look I dunno, all I know is I try to stay on his good side. Cuz I like my life. I like my life unpunched. Anyways once Neeyo took a glaze at the mountains my man calls hands, his english came back. He knew what time it was. Chin Check time nah mean. He grabbed his stuff, thanked whatever God he praises for not letting the Fist GOD anoint him. Neeyo, if you reading this, WATCH YA NECK NIGGA.

Anyways next story, will about my beef with Jazzy Pha aka the fat man trapped in a polo.

The Following Rappers: PLEASE STOP RAPPING

Sup folks! Its ya man The Big Bad Black Man aka Agent Bridgeneekov aka El Capi-tan To My Spanish Folks aka The Black Ultimate Man. In todays edition of my infamous rants, we will go through a list of a few people I think are an absolute embarrassment to the Hip Hop culture. They some how get the OK to rap. No. Stop rapping son. Ya shit is horrible. No one wants to hear that trash. For real.  Audio pollution indeed.

1) Swizz Beatz: Yea back in like 98-99 you was popping son. You had some great beats (even though, they were simple strokes of the keyboard with bells and whistles) under ya belt but I dunno who gave you the Ok to rap. Stick to the beats son. All ya singles have been trash. We only listen for the beats nah mean. I mean niggas are sick of you. First off, you dump Moshonda, and she was fine as shit. Then you go and make Ms Keys preggo. Then you front like you design those Reeboks and you didnt do shit. Then you dick ride Kanye and make ya own Monster Monday series (Kanye had GOOD Fridays) that NO ONE was listening to. Then I hear his new joint, Bonkers. I want my hearing back. Just stick to being Mr Keys and make some beats. Lame. Fuck a reebok too. Nike head son!

2) Birdman: This nigga. I mean, he was cool back in the day with Mannie Fresh behind the beats. Big Tymers were my shit to be honest. Ignorant but funny and entertaining. But thats cause Mannie Fresh was behind 95% of the music. Without Fresh, this nigga is TRASH. No one wants to hear you rap son. No one is hating that you got money, I mean for real, who cares? But the fact that I gotta listen to Fiyah Flame Spittas forty times on my radio station aint wats poppin slime (thats why I made my own station, onblastradio holla!). Then you dont ever pay ya producers. No wonder why you got millions, you dont pay no body no money. You give Tyga, Gudda Gudda and Jae Millz and em nothin but those wack ass cheap ass YMCMB shirts and keep it moving. Just stick to extorting Weezy and making failed oil companies. DONT RAP. PLEASE

3) P Diddy, Puff Daddy, Diddy whatever the fuck he's calling himself: I love Biggie but the one thing I would tell him not to do, is give Puffy the ok to rap. I mean, yea he had a couple nice joints nah mean, Missing You, All About the Benjamins and all that. But thats cause he took advantage of us missing Biggie. Now, its been decades since, and you wack son. Dirty Money, that shit is trash. No one wants to hear you rap son. I love Sean John, I love the fact you went for yours. No one is hating ya paper gangsterism. I mean you destroyed so many rappers careers: Craig Mack, Loon, Mark Curry, Black Rob, The Band, and more recently Red Cafe (who is never dropping shit by the way). You made them famous enough for them to make YOU paper but left them to rot. Good work. But for real son, stop rapping. And you trying to sing too. Good lord. Just stick to extorting niggas and making hot shirt. Cant stop wont stop.

4) Snoop Dogg: Look dogg, we need know you like 65 son. You were hot back in the day. Now, its just almost pathetic. I love that show you had for a hot sec on MTV. What was it, Snoop Televizzle FO Shizzle Bizzle Dizzle Missiles whatever the fuck. But for real, Im not even gonna like make jokes about this. Just stop.


And thats it folks. So if you see these niggas in the streets, please tell em, stop rapping. You are hurting our ears.

The Big Bad Black Man's Random Joint Of The Day:Raekwon feat. Nas - Rich And Black (Official Music Video)

Rappers Who Put Me To Sleep

Sup folks! Its ya man, The Big Bad Black Man aka GI Bro (I get the job done) aka Chuck Claps Jr in the place to be. This installment, Ima piss off alot of folks out there. But fuck it, my blog, blow me if you dont like it. Anyways, we gonna be talking about alot of your favorite rappers and how they put me to sleep. Im not hating, but these niggas.. they lack whatever it is to keep me interested in their music. I go to their shows and be bored and shit nah mean? Doing my taxes, planning my week out and shit while Im at these niggas shows. Anyways lets into the list

1) Joel Ortiz: I tried. I really did. I even went to a show of his. This cat just isnt all that interesting. I know he from Brooklyn and he spanish. But this nigga is CORNY. None of his joints are memorable or like super hot. I mean, he wack. Like for real. I skip his parts on Slaughterhouse all day. No one wanna here no heavy set wack Rican cat from the BK rap about nothing. I was at his show with my dude Farahani da Don and I was bored. I went to the bathroom. Grab a drink. Cop a few numbers from the drunk white "hip hoppers" women and turn to one and was like damn, this nigga still rapping? You know its bad when you gotta ask that. Stop rapping nigga.

2) Wiz Khalifa: Honestly, his mixtapes are dope and I still bump "Get In My Car" once and a while on my show: http://blogtalkradio.com/onblast (check me out!) but his album, SNOOZEFEST. For one, Im sick of these skinny ass rappers. Infact, FUCK ALL YOU SKINNY ASS RAPPERS! But thats another blog topic. Second, this nigga looks like Jar Jar Binks with road maps all over him. Third, he a sucka for love. How you gonna tat a known slore on ya body son? Is that what you trying to teach the youth of today? To fall in love with these smuts cuz they give up the pum pum? Rolling Papers? More like Toilet Papers. Complete utter trash. I wasnt even that big on "Black and Yellow" (fuck the Steelers. Yea I said that, come see me). He's not as bad as ya boy Ortiz but.. he's good if I need good nap.

3) J Cole: Is this cat ever EVER gonna put his album out? Tell you the truth, I see why Jigga hasnt put this cat out yet. He hasnt made a hot song is a long time. He's run out of subject matter. Ok, we know you were a dork before you got put on. Ok we know the hoes wasnt hollering before you got put on. Ok we know you spit hot fire and you're a dweeb from NC. We get it. Anything else Mr Cole? No? STOP RAPPING. All ya mixtapes sound the same man. Rap about I dunno, ANYTHING ELSE. Please. Hopefully when his album drops, we can wow us but for now, do something to get a buzz for yourself. Slap a DJ or something. Simba... FUCK OUTTA HERE. The real Simba aint soft. At all.

4) B.O.B: This corny mothafucka. Just look at him. I bet you my Grandma who is 92 can go up and take this loser lunch money. I wasnt feeling this cat. At all. None of that Airplanes or that Bruno Mars shit. And fuck ya guitar nigga. Who you think you is? Wyclef? FUCK OUTTA HERE. I lose all credibility for this clown when I found out he didnt even write the songs. Lame. I dont got much to say about this fool. Stop rapping. Thanks

Yo... dont this cat look like Freiza from Dragonball Z? Ol let me power up and destroy the universe ass nigga. Ol Ima kill all the Sayians ass nigga. Goku styled on you!

5) Big Sean: Look at him. He even yawning on himself. This cat right here. BORING. I was a fan but I heard the album and fell asleep for about 3 hours. First off, he fighting with his girlfriend Drake over a flow or style thats has been used for DECADES. Second, he's rhymes are pre-school at best. I cant fuck with  this cat. Nah. Lame. Shit Im falling asleep talking about this cat. Moving on.

6) Lloyd Banks: Forget the punchlines. Forget the sleepy voice. Infact, thats why he's on this list. Once he ran out of punchlines, he is a pretty boring rapper. See I love Tony Yayo. Not because he is the best lyricist of the G Unit. Yayo has character and ignorance all over his records. He got energy. This cat, all he had was punchlines and he aint even got that no more. So, yup, that Hunger For More 2, more like Slumber For Me.

So yea there you go. All these wack corny mothafuckas make me go night night. Any questions? Spare me. You cant convince me these cats are hot. Now, Ima go take a nap. Peace

Producers Who Are Vastly Slept On Vol 1

Hey folks, I know its been a while since I have posted but things have been quite busy for ya man, Black. First off, I had to dump some dead baby mama drama weight. Second, Ive been dating. Yea I know. Third, the show has been on my shoulder since my spin off host decided to become a baby sitter. Thats like Superman working at a car wash. Anyways this blog is about producers in the rap game who I feel are over shadowed by the Dr Dre's, Kanye's, 9th wonders and so forth


Easy Mo Bee

Easy Mo Bee is probably one of the top producers during the 90s. He's done alot of work for Big Daddy Kane, Wu Tang members the GZA (when he was known as the Genius) and the RZA (when he was known as Prince Rakeem). His big break came through when he did some notable production for this new cat coming out of Bed-Stuy by the name of the Notorious B.I.G. (maybe you heard of em). He also worked with Tupac. Here are a few samples of Easy Mo Bee work:

Q-Tip

Q-Tip is of course known for being the front man and lead lyricist for A Tribe Called Quest but, he can also hit the boards with the best of them. He's has made countless countless CLASSIC beats for some of the best in the game including Nas, Mobb Deep, Busta Rhymes, Consequence and Kanye West. I dont need to say more, just check these out:

Khrysis

Khrysis has been around as long as 9th wonder has but I always felt he lived in 9th's shadow. He is apart of the duo called the Away Team (along with Sean Boog) but recently thanks to the team up of the Justus League and Boot Camp Click, he is getting more shine. He has done alot of hot joints for Sean Price, Buckshot, Rapper Big Pooh and countless others. Check these out:

Thats it for now. I will have another volume soon enough. For now, look these guys up and enjoy their music. Peace

Where did ya get that?

The Big Bad Black Man's Collection Of Randomness Vol 1

Hey folks its ya man, The Big Bad Black Man aka GI BRO aka Ill Cosby. Sometimes, I have long ass stories filled with thrills and terrors (well mostly terror but its cool to laugh) but these are a collection of short but still funny events that happened in my daily travels on this planet


The Peeping White Girl 


For some odd reason, I was on the train coming from a date in the Bronx. And my date, she a bad bitch nah mean. She mad cool and but GOTDAMN she fine as shit. And she drives a coupe so when she scoops me up, my um JR but on nuke missile during the cold war status. Anyways Im on the train after she drops me off near the crib and I start thinking some... ok I start thinking and I guess JR gets up at attention and just as I open my eyes BLAM! this white girl (who wasnt bad looking herself) was staring straight at my johnson. She had that omg, it is true. Yes it is. But this aint a free show, girl, you gotta pay. Or feed me. Or something. For the rest of the ride (we got off at the same stop) her cheeks were rosy like Perez and she couldnt look me in the eye. I was smiling and laughing. Gotta find the humor in that. If yall dont, get a pulse.




The Invisible Fighting Couple


One day Im walking through the mean streets of Clinton Hill (ok maybe not mean. But you know... hey shut up!) and all of sudden I hear mad screaming and slapping noise. But I saw no one. It was dark. But from what I could make out, it appears a couple, both of them, blacker than Wesley Snipes in a Sharpie, where having a domestic dispute. But you couldnt see them. I honestly thought it was two ninjas fighting. And guess what folks, apparently I was in the middle of it. Luckily I kept it moving after dodging a few punches. They didnt even notice me. Maybe cuz Im pretty black my damn self. I need to learn to fly or something.


My Indoor Waterfall


So I wake up for work right, and Im about to take a shower only to find out my bathroom has already started the water for me. Seriously. See, I have this actress (or so-called actress) who lives upstairs from me. She only lives here half the year because she is busy being Hollywood. So, the last time she was in town, it was sunny, warm and hot in Sept, so she left her windows open. Well now its Jan, and her pipes, thanks to the open windows, have frozen and burst all over my head (pause). Bad enough the the bathroom is raining, I go to my closet and its a indoor waterfall. It took all morning for my idiotic repair idiots to stop the burst. She comes knocking on my door after a week to apologize. Whatever. Thats why Im buying ya movies on bootleg. BITCH...