THE THOUGHTS, STORIES AND MUSINGS OF THE BIG BAD BLACK MAN
Friday, May 13, 2011
The Big Bad Black Man's Collection Of Randomness Vol 1
Hey folks its ya man, The Big Bad Black Man aka GI BRO aka Ill Cosby. Sometimes, I have long ass stories filled with thrills and terrors (well mostly terror but its cool to laugh) but these are a collection of short but still funny events that happened in my daily travels on this planet
The Peeping White Girl
For some odd reason, I was on the train coming from a date in the Bronx. And my date, she a bad bitch nah mean. She mad cool and but GOTDAMN she fine as shit. And she drives a coupe so when she scoops me up, my um JR but on nuke missile during the cold war status. Anyways Im on the train after she drops me off near the crib and I start thinking some... ok I start thinking and I guess JR gets up at attention and just as I open my eyes BLAM! this white girl (who wasnt bad looking herself) was staring straight at my johnson. She had that omg, it is true. Yes it is. But this aint a free show, girl, you gotta pay. Or feed me. Or something. For the rest of the ride (we got off at the same stop) her cheeks were rosy like Perez and she couldnt look me in the eye. I was smiling and laughing. Gotta find the humor in that. If yall dont, get a pulse.
The Invisible Fighting Couple
One day Im walking through the mean streets of Clinton Hill (ok maybe not mean. But you know... hey shut up!) and all of sudden I hear mad screaming and slapping noise. But I saw no one. It was dark. But from what I could make out, it appears a couple, both of them, blacker than Wesley Snipes in a Sharpie, where having a domestic dispute. But you couldnt see them. I honestly thought it was two ninjas fighting. And guess what folks, apparently I was in the middle of it. Luckily I kept it moving after dodging a few punches. They didnt even notice me. Maybe cuz Im pretty black my damn self. I need to learn to fly or something.
My Indoor Waterfall
So I wake up for work right, and Im about to take a shower only to find out my bathroom has already started the water for me. Seriously. See, I have this actress (or so-called actress) who lives upstairs from me. She only lives here half the year because she is busy being Hollywood. So, the last time she was in town, it was sunny, warm and hot in Sept, so she left her windows open. Well now its Jan, and her pipes, thanks to the open windows, have frozen and burst all over my head (pause). Bad enough the the bathroom is raining, I go to my closet and its a indoor waterfall. It took all morning for my idiotic repair idiots to stop the burst. She comes knocking on my door after a week to apologize. Whatever. Thats why Im buying ya movies on bootleg. BITCH...
The Peeping White Girl
For some odd reason, I was on the train coming from a date in the Bronx. And my date, she a bad bitch nah mean. She mad cool and but GOTDAMN she fine as shit. And she drives a coupe so when she scoops me up, my um JR but on nuke missile during the cold war status. Anyways Im on the train after she drops me off near the crib and I start thinking some... ok I start thinking and I guess JR gets up at attention and just as I open my eyes BLAM! this white girl (who wasnt bad looking herself) was staring straight at my johnson. She had that omg, it is true. Yes it is. But this aint a free show, girl, you gotta pay. Or feed me. Or something. For the rest of the ride (we got off at the same stop) her cheeks were rosy like Perez and she couldnt look me in the eye. I was smiling and laughing. Gotta find the humor in that. If yall dont, get a pulse.
The Invisible Fighting Couple
One day Im walking through the mean streets of Clinton Hill (ok maybe not mean. But you know... hey shut up!) and all of sudden I hear mad screaming and slapping noise. But I saw no one. It was dark. But from what I could make out, it appears a couple, both of them, blacker than Wesley Snipes in a Sharpie, where having a domestic dispute. But you couldnt see them. I honestly thought it was two ninjas fighting. And guess what folks, apparently I was in the middle of it. Luckily I kept it moving after dodging a few punches. They didnt even notice me. Maybe cuz Im pretty black my damn self. I need to learn to fly or something.
My Indoor Waterfall
So I wake up for work right, and Im about to take a shower only to find out my bathroom has already started the water for me. Seriously. See, I have this actress (or so-called actress) who lives upstairs from me. She only lives here half the year because she is busy being Hollywood. So, the last time she was in town, it was sunny, warm and hot in Sept, so she left her windows open. Well now its Jan, and her pipes, thanks to the open windows, have frozen and burst all over my head (pause). Bad enough the the bathroom is raining, I go to my closet and its a indoor waterfall. It took all morning for my idiotic repair idiots to stop the burst. She comes knocking on my door after a week to apologize. Whatever. Thats why Im buying ya movies on bootleg. BITCH...
Sunday, May 1, 2011
The Big Bad Black Man's Joint Of The Day: Erykah Badu - Didn't cha know
Yo.. Ms Badu got the fatty son. I saw her one time in the airport and I see why Common and them neo-soul cats be bugggin out with her and all that. Anyways, this joint was produced by the late great J Dilla. A dope cut and nice to sit back and listen to. Enjoy
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